What do you mean when you say that man is a machine?
That man is a machine! Three scenes
“Hello, Bernie old pal!” greeted Charlie, somewhat potted. “Let’s go into a bar and celebrate the cigar habit.”
What are you talking about?” asked Bernie .
“Listen,” Charlie went on, “My wife wanted me to stop smoking. And her system is, when I feel like a cigar to get an O’ Henry candy bar instead.”
“Did you do that?” Bernie inquired.
“Yeah! And that’s why I am celebrating. I’m back on cigars – that candy bar idea doesn’t work; believe me, I tried it. Every time I wanted a cigar I bought an O’ Henry candy bar. But you want to know something? I couldn’t keep it lit!”
When I say that man is a machine, I mean man functions through habits, not through awareness. When I say that man is a machine, I mean man functions through his past, not through his spontaneity.
The second scene….
A night worker had let his whiskers grow until his favorite baseball team won the pennant, much to the disgust of his young and pretty wife.
On the day his team clinched the pennant he laid off work, got himself a shave, went home early, and slipped into bed. In the darkness he took his wife’s hand and placed it upon his smoothly shaven face.
She turned slightly while running her fingers over the now smooth chin, and said, “Make it snappy, kid! Old Whiskers will be home any minute now.”
When I say that man is a machine, I mean man does not see what is the case, man does not look into the present moment, man is not responsive to reality. Man goes on living in old ideas, man lives through habits.
The third scene….
One day Mulla Nasruddin read a small poem in a magazine. He loved it. The poem was:
Sir, Why not buy a bunch or two
Of springtime flowers fair?
And take them home one cheerless day,
But carry them with care.
Just hand them to your wife and say,
“I thought of you in town today.”
Mulla Nasruddin did exactly that. He bought some flowers, but instead of entering the house as usual, he knocked. And when his wife opened the door, he just handed them to her. To his great surprise she burst out crying. “Why, whatever is the matter?” he asked.
“Oh,” she replied, “I’ve had an awful day. I broke the teapot, the baby has been crying, the cook has left, and now you come home drunk!”
That’s what I mean when I say that man is a machine. And you don’t become aware of it, because how can a machine become aware? You need somebody to hammer on your head continuously, in the hope that sometime the hammer will really hit you, shock you out of your habits, and for a moment you will be awake.
I talked the other day about three awarenesses: awareness one, awareness two, awareness three. This is the first awareness: to watch yourself, to watch your actions, to watch your reactions, to watch your responses. How are you behaving – as a man or as a machine? And out of one hundred, ninety-nine times you will find that you are behaving like a machine. But if you start becoming a little alert, then you are becoming something more than a machine; the plus point is arising in you. That awareness will help you to become man. Only when you are aware are you man. Fully aware, you are fully man. Fully unaware, you are a machine.
(Osho: Tantric Transformation, chapter 6)
This is not an Osho joke but we know he would love it so we are nominating it as a new Osho joke:
A guy dies. He comes to an elevator and steps inside. He is dismayed to see that it is moving downwards. He knows what that means. When it arrives, sure enough, he is greeted by the Devil himself, all dressed in red. The Devil welcomes him very cordially but the guy is not deceived by this, knowing that he has landed in Hell. There is a rolls Royce standing there and the Devil gestures to it, saying, “this is your car.” The guy says, “My car? Are you trying to make a fool out of me? This is Hell after all! The Devil says, “don’t worry. Just come for a drive with me!”
Finally, seeing no escape, the guy gets into the car and they go for a drive. Soon he notices really lush and beautiful scenery, lots of trees, rolling hills, rivers and streams, and grassy meadows. However, he remains suspicious, waiting for the inevitable. Finally, they arrive in a really luxurious house with a beautiful garden. The devil says, “here is your house!” The guy says, “My house? But this is Hell! How can that be?” The door to the house opens and outcomes 6 beautiful women, a blond, a brunette, an east Asian, a black, an Indian and so on, each one more gorgeous than the one before. His eyes are popping out of his head and he asks, “who are they?” “Well, those are your girlfriends,” says the Devil. “Why, is there anything wrong?” “No, No,” says the guy. “Everything is perfect.. but.. I thought..I mean, this is Hell isn’t it?” “Of course it is,” says the Devil. “Look at me, I am the Devil aren’t I?”
They continue their tour. Pretty soon they come to a high wall with lots of barbed wire on the top. There are flames shooting up and bloodcurdling screams can be heard coming from the other side of the wall. The guy exclaims, “you see! I knew it! I knew it! Now we come to it! You were decieving me all along!” “You mean this?” says the Devil, chuckling.” Don’t take it so seriously! This is a special place for the Christians because they demand it this way!”