DELHI’S CITY MAGAZINE
guest column: MEDITATION
IN THE MOMENT
“I met Osho in the early 1969 when I was just 20 years old. I was not interested in philosophy, religion or enlightenment. In fact I had never heard the word ‘meditation’. In those years, Osho used to travel around the country, giving discourses. He came to my hometown Ludhiana. My husband persuaded me to go with him to listen to his discourse. Oh! What an experience! I had never seen a man like him-so handsome, so graceful, so feminine and at the same time such strength and fire in his words. The way He walked, the way He did ‘Namaste’, the way He moved, His hands, His voice, I simply fell in love with Him. Tears were rolling down. I remember in many of my early meetings with Him, I could never utter a single word – just tears and tears and inside the feeling- I know him- I have been with Him, a feeling of contentment that I have found Him. A feeling of discontentment, an urge, a longing for self-growth also started taking birth inside. Thus, my life with him started.
I started following Him to nearby cities to listen to His discourses. I started meditating, attending His meditation camps. Sometimes He would be speaking on the songs of Kabir, Nanak, and Meera – the mystics on the Path of Love. Sometimes he would be speaking on the sutras of Patanjali, Ashtavakra and Buddha – the mystics on the path of meditation. I was simply enjoying listening to Him. But a question arose in me: ‘what is my path? Love or meditation?’ And Osho answered:
“….Her path is absolutely certain: it is love. Through love she is going to achieve. Through love she is going to be. Through love all that can happen will happen to her and I can say it absolutely…Her direction is absolutely clear: Love is her meditation.”
In the evening Darshan, I asked Him: “Give me a sutra on this path”. He said: “Totality is the sutra. Whatever you do, do it totally. Start with the first step – the body. Love your body. In the morning when you get up, be filled with thankfulness. Tell your body, you are the temple of my soul. I love you. I want to take care of you. While taking a shower, feel the touch of the water, the freshness of it. While rubbing the soap, tell your body, I want to keep you clean and beautiful. While eating, tell your body I want to nourish you. Eat with love. Enjoy every bite of it. While listening to my discourse, listen with love…. Enjoy the sound of my voice, the song of the birds, the wind passing through the bamboo trees.
He also asked me to dance wildly at sunset time followed by 20 minutes of meditation. It had four stages, each stage of five minutes. I would do it on my terrace and after dancing 1. I would lie down on my back looking at the sky, looking at the vastness and beauty of it. 2.To close my eyes and feel that my body is expanding, expanding more and more and becoming weightless, feeling that it has expanded and become one with the sky. 3. To feel as if the whole sky and the body is becoming smaller and smaller, and has entered in my heart center, exactly in the middle of the two armpits. 4. Just to lie down in silence.
I simply loved this meditation. I did it almost for one year. I enjoyed the feeling of expansion. I enjoyed the feeling of such vastness that even the whole sky becomes one with me. Each evening I felt the existence is showering love on me. I felt generous in giving and open in receiving. I don’t know when natty gritty mundane affairs could no longer confine me. My sulky moods started disappearing. I felt my heart overflowing with love and joy.
At the same time a pain started growing. Something started melting, breaking inside, lots of tears, tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of laughter, tears of longing for the self growth.
I remember in one of His letters Osho wrote: Nothing is more sacred than the tears flowing for the divine. I see you washing the doorsteps of the temple with your tears. I hear your footsteps very near to the door. You are just going to enter the temple.
In those days I enjoyed doing Nataraj and Kirtan regularly, the two dancing meditations suggested by Osho.”