Mulla was sitting in a station smoking when a woman came in, sitting beside him, remarked: “Sir if you were a gentleman, you would not smoke here!” “Mum said the mulla, “if ye was a lady ye’d sit a little farther away” Pretty soon the woman burst out again: “If...
Day: May 14, 2021
From Prem Hilarious, Pune, India
A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"
Life is a woman. Try to understand life and you will become a mess. Forget all about understanding. Just live it and you will understand it. The understanding is not going to be intellectual, theoretical; the understanding is going to be total.
A very holy man went into an optician's one day to order a new pair of spectacles. Behind the counter was an extremely pretty girl, which reduced the customer to total confusion. "Can I help you, sir?" she asked with a ravishing smile. "Er - yes - er... I want...
God is always joking. Look at your own life – it is a joke! Look at other people's lives, and you will find jokes and jokes and jokes. Seriousness is illness; seriousness has nothing spiritual about it. Spirituality is laughter, spirituality is joy, spirituality is fun.
What I am trying to show you is this: that we laugh only when there is some reason which is forcing us to laugh. A joke is told, and you laugh - because a joke creates a certain excitement in you. The whole mechanism of a joke is: the story...
Osho
There is nowhere to go and nothing to attain. You are already there where you need to be. Seeking is the only sin. Searching is the only way of going astray.
One day Mulla Nasruddin's wife was running after him with a stick. To save himself he slipped underneath the bed. The wife is a fat woman and she could not enter. Mulla said, "Now you know who is the master of the house!" And then exactly at that moment, somebody...
From Prem Hilarious, McLeodGanj, India
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your license and registration? Driver: I don't have them. It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen?
Osho: A Bird On The Wing
When laughter comes out of silence you are not laughing at anybody's cost, you are simply laughing at the whole cosmic joke. And it really is a joke! That's why I go on telling jokes to you... because jokes carry more than any scriptures. It is a joke because inside...
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out...
From Prem Hilarious, McLeodGanj, India
A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"
Little Ernie goes up to his father after school one day. "Dad," says Ernie, "the teacher started talking about Economics and I didn't understand a thing."
Before we enter into, not contemplation, but meditation, I don't want you to be serious. I am so against seriousness - it is a spiritual sickness. Laughter is spiritual health. And laughter is very unburdening. While you laugh, you can put your mind aside very easily. For a man who...
When the Goldbergs move to Rome, little Herschel comes home from his school in tears. He explains to his mother that the nuns are always asking these Catholic questions and how is he supposed to know the answers?
Boris Baablebrain, the clever lawyer, is pointing at he man in the dock. "And Miss Willing, is THIS the man," screams Boris, "Who you claim violated you, and took advantage of your beautiful, helpless, female body?" "Yes! Yes!" shouts Miss Willing, excitedly. "This is the man who did it to...
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.
Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were at the ballet. He suddenly started laughing. The wife asked, 'Why?' 'I was just wondering what the audience would do if I suddenly jumped on the stage, grabbed one of the girls, threw her down and made violent love to her,' he said.
Angela Angelovitch, the greatest ballet dancer in living memory, is going to give her last performance. "Angela," says Petrov, her manager, "for this performance, you must give everything, EVERYTHING!"
As three Ph.D.s were sitting restlessly in the hospital waiting room, a nurse rushed in and said to one of them, 'Good news! Your wife just had twins'!
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all...
The guy asks in astonishment,"Why is "Divorcee Barbie so much? She looks the same to me." The assistant answers, "Well, sir, Divorcee Barbie comes complete with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's golf clubs, his Gold MasterCard, his yacht and his summer home."
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before...
The fourth question:
Hello, Bernie old pal!" greeted Charlie, somewhat potted. "Let's go into a bar and celebrate the cigar habit." What are you talking about?" asked Bernie .
From Sarita and Geho
A guy dies. He comes to an elevator and steps inside. He is dismayed to see that it is moving downwards. He knows what that means. When it arrives, sure enough, he is greeted by the Devil himself, all dressed in red. The Devil welcomes him very cordially but the...
A new joke about Mulla Nasrudin
He is a modern man now and has moved into an appartment house in the city. After moving in, he buys himself a new wallpainting and takes it home. When he wants to hang it on the wall he realises that he has got the nail but no hammer. So...
Books I have Loved
Osho, the much maligned, maverick modern guru of the "New Age" meditation, was one of the most voracious readers - a fact he often confessed. He used to read an average eight thousand-odd pages every day till his death!
Osho again on Sufi path
A machine works according to its design. It cannot do anything for which it is not built. Human beings work according to their will. Autonomy of will distinguishes human beings from automata.
My People
Anant Ki Pukar, a new Hindi book by Osho has just been published. This beautiful book costs only forty rupees and can be purchased from Osho Commune bookshop.
A Treasure Chest with Trivia
"One day we will have to write the whole of history with a totally different orientation, because the facts are trivia - although they are material, they don't matter. And the truths are immaterial but they matter," says the preface by the compiler of 'The Autobiography of a Spiritually Incorrect...
What morality? It is physicality!
“I am the beginning of a totally new religious consciousness. Please don’t connect me to the past — it is not even worth remembering.” This is Acharya Rajneesh or Bhagwan Rajneesh or Osho, master of the rhetoric, making one of his characteristic statements.
Don’t believe, just ‘live’
When invited by a well-known religious organisation to speak, Rajneesh, on the spur of the moment, decided to play a practical joke on the organisers and the audience. He began talking about a strange and highly advanced society called "Sitnalta". The truth of the matter is that before delivering his...
Osho goes Sufi and thrills you
"GLORY of Freedom" in the series "Sufis: The People of the Path" is one of the most consistent works giving a full taste of Osho "philosophy". Where Carl Jung, the most prominent pupil of Sigmund Freud left, Osho appeared. Osho's thought has reached a logical conclusion.
Response from a mystice rose from Berlin
we should organize a OSHO-FOR-ALL love parade, Zorba the Bhudda style, in every city with an Osho center..maybe on the day he left his body..as we had it when he was imprísioned in Amerika..and somehow isn't a part of him prisoned there again?It would serve several purposes.
Letter from Swami Krishnadev Satyarthi
Recently I came to learn from Swami Chaitanya Keerti that the New York based Osho International Foundation has altered and manipulated Osho's original words in one of their recent publications.
Letter from Osho’s devotees in London
After reading your written conversation with Jayesh and also reading Ma Neelam's letter, we Osho's devotees in London were upset and saddened.
Open Letter from Sw. Anunado
Osho created situations. From orange clothes and malas, through discourses, groups, and meditations, to the Ranch and inner circle, he gave us countless ways to become more aware of our own unconsciousness. His only concern for his sannyasins was for us to wake up.
Response to the open letter from Anunado by Sw. Satya
"Osho created situations. From orange clothes and malas, through discourses, groups, and meditations, to the Ranch and inner circle, he gave us countless ways to become more aware of our own unconsciousness. His only concern for his sannyasins was for us to wake up."
Response to ANUNADO’S LETTER
I applaud Anunado for writing a letter in a spirit of encouraging good will to each other by promoting discussion between the IC and sannyasins at large. I think though what has happened though is that many sannyasins have already attempted for a long time to have meaningful discussions with...
Response from Sw. Anand
Read your befitting response to mahesh bhatt's psuedo article calling the master's work as part of entertainment industry. Your existance is a further confirmation of Osho continuous presence which even the latecomers like me feel day in and day out. .... calls for a celebration ...
Response from Sw. Krishnadev Satyarthi
Let's not mix the real issue with the copyright issue. Of course, the mystic Osho is beyond copyright. I agree with the slogan: "Osho: everybody’s birthright, nobody’s copyright".
Trouble in the Lotus Paradise
In America we are reading about the turbulence at the Osho Commune in Pune, India. Now, with Satellite Communications, within minutes India News reaches our bedrooms all over the world.
From Sw. Bodhi Chirag
This letter is an endeavor to make suggestions to the Inner Circle which could change the scenario in Osho's world from commotion to love and peace, if implemented.
Letter to beloved Keerti
It has been long time that I wanted to share with you few thinghs, but I was helpless because of fear of being banned from commune. I do not trust management team, they banned people for no reason, I have the feeling that life will be very hard and different...
Response from Samarpan
Its realy sad that the long connected people are not allowed inside the ashram and inner circle is reducing day by day. I had never met Osho but I am his sanyasin and my sanyas name is jeevan samarpan.
A Letter from Kes’shin
I am finishing my paper for school. I am constantly surprised at how the universe throws the right teachings at the right time. When I started this, the only thing I knew of Osho was a reputation I had heard while living in Oregon, home of the Christian Coalition.
From Deva Satranga
Really enjoying all juicy stories, it's such a great drama! And life carries on, the trees still flower, the clouds, the sun, the birds on the wing, my body breathing, all happening and happening....
From Karan Kakar
I'm actually doing a paper on cultures. I have always been very interested in what actually made people come to osho, what did they achieve over at the ashram. was osho a culture by itself .
From Swami Prem Peeyoosh
The birth of OSHO WORLD is really birth of a new Osho world; a world of love , respect for eachother and a respect for the Guru and his work in real oriental sense of responsibility. We the Osho friends of Barnala are with you.Excelsior!
From Swami Krishnadev Satyarthi
Congratulation for bringing out or it would be more appropriate if I say for launching a monthly Osho magazine. As you were a master editor of Osho Times in your golden pune days
Letter from Krisana
I am still here in Chile and we are in the 6th day of crying in the Mystic Rose, it is very deep and it is lifting off a whole layer of the misery and pain that Chile has been carrying.
Letter from Anand Arhat
Your Article under the column "Meditation" in HT on the eve of "Guru Purnima" was a welcome change from the pseudo intellectual writings which appear there in routine. Hope you shall be writing more as Osho already predicted that he shall be riding on the winds after leaving the body.
From Arun Babani
overjoyed to be on your website for the first time, and we shall keep in touch. Please guide about bringing the book 'return to innocence' to osho lovers since it was inspired by osho himself. love arun
From Chandra Prakash
I am delighted by your efforts to expose the conspiracy of the Pune people. I am ready to extend my support in this regard. I further request you to keep the Osho legacy pure.
From Ramarshi
A single individual, if he stands against all tradition, needs to be of a great genius, of great creativity......
From Swami Yog Chinmaya
A few years back, I ran into a sannyasin friend, who locally distributes Osho´s books. We talked and I asked about his book distributing.