Mulla Nasrudin

Mulla was sitting in a station smoking when a woman came in, sitting beside him, remarked: “Sir if you were a gentleman, you would not smoke here!” “Mum said the mulla, “if ye was a lady ye’d sit a little farther away” Pretty soon the woman burst out again: “If you were my husband I’d give you poison!” “WELL MUM,” returned mulla, as he puffed away at his pipe, “IF YOU WERE MY WIFE, I’D TAKE IT”


Mulla and his wife had just been fighting. The wife felt a bit ashamed and was standing looking out of the window. Suddenly something caught her attention “Honey,” she called. “Come here I want to show you something” As the Mulla came to the window to see, she said, “Look at those two horses pulling that load of hay up the hill. Why can’t we pull together like that, up the hill of life?” “THE REASON WE CAN’T PULL UP THE HILL LIKE A COUPLE OF HORSES,” said Nasrudin, “IS BECAUSE ONE OF US IS A JACKASS!”


Mulla was told that he would lose his phone if he didn’t retract what he had said to the general manager of the phone company in the course of conversation over the wire. “Very well, Mulla Nasrudin will apologize,” he said.
He called main 7777.
“Is that you Mr. Doolittle?”
“It is.”
“This is Mulla Nasrudin.”
“Well?”
“This morning in the heat of discussion I told you to go to hell!”
“Yes?”
“WELL,” said Nasrudin,”DON’T GO !”


The editor of town weekly received this letter from Mulla Nasrudin: “Dear Sir: Last week I lost my watch which I valued highly. The next day I ran an ad in your news paper. Yesterday, I went home and found my watch in the poclet of my brown suit. “YOUR PAPER IS WONDERFUL.”


Mulla Nasrudin, a distraught father, visiting his son in a prison waiting room, turned on him and said: “I am fed up with your record: attempted robbery, attempted burglary, attempted murder, attempted assassination.
“WHAT A FAILURE YOU HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE; YOU CAN’T SUCCEED IN ANYTHING YOU TRY OUT.”


Mulla Nasrudin was suffering from what appeared to be a case of shattered nerves. After a long period of failing health, he finally called a doctor.
“You are in serious trouble,” the doctor said. “You are living with some terrible evil thing; something that is possessing you from morning to the night. We must find what it is and destroy it. “SSSSSH, DOCTOR,”Said Nasrudin, “YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT DON’T SAY IT SO LOUD – SHE IS SITTING IN THE NEXT ROOM AND SHE MIGHT HEAR YOU.”


Mulla Nasrudin, shipwrecked, was finally washed ashore on a strange island. He was glad to be on the land, but afraid he must be among the wild and unfriendly natives, so he explored cautiously, and at last saw smoke from a fire rising from the jungle. As he made his way slowly through thw woods, scared half to death, he heard a voice say, “Pass that bottle and deal those cards.”
“THANK GOD !” cried Mulla Nasrudin. “I AM AMONG CIVILIZED PEOPLE!”


Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends rented a boat and went fishing. In a remote part of the lake they found a spot where the fish were really biting.
“We’d better mark this spot so we can come back tomorrow,” sid the mulla.
“O.k., I’ll do it,” replied his friend.
When they got back to the dock, the Mulla asked, “Did you mark that spot?”
“Sure said the second, “I put a chalk mark on the side of the boat.”
“YOU NITWIT,” said Nasrudin. “HOW DO YOU KNOW WE WILL GET THE SAME BOAT TOMORROW?”

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